So here we are, 10th December, contemplating the future. For the past 2 months I’ve taught the most lessons each week I’ve ever taught in China, as well as taking up some tutoring of some 5 and 6 year old children. I’ve been writing my CV (resume as the Americans would have it), cover letters and Job applications with little success and more than a little stress to go with. It seems that I’ve had no time to pause for thought or have a decent rest.
This has had a dual effect of distracting me from the worry about facing joblessness when I go home in January, but also preventing me from finding real peace and quite, to sleep and rest well. This is the second cold I’ve had in 2 weeks, and I think a result of the exhaustion I’ve been feeling, and winter being winter. The prospect of returning home, alone, away from Miao for 6 months is also not a happy one.
Miao’s been away for business for nearly a week now, and although I’ve appreciated the alone time, I’m beginning to miss the family atmosphere and company that she brings to me.
I’ve almost completed lesson planning for my remaining lessons, but still have papers to mark and type into my excel spreadsheet of marks. The fact that I’m going home is posing a very real motivational black hole which is sucking my energy and passion for teaching and leaving only laziness, so quality assurance is a priority for me at the moment so that I can do my due diligence. The atmosphere in classes recently have been tired, ill and passionless. Just the emotional effect of winter and the problem of having such a long semester of 18 weeks. Also the fact that I’ve been preparing the students for their final exams, puts a limit on their enjoyment of the topics discussed.
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